Faith and Love
by hiddenworldwalker
Summary: How do I love you let me count the ways... In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. She knew her husband and children shared a secret. Loving him meant at least trying to understand.


It started with their first child. Even after three years of marriage and a year of dating before that she was wise enough to know she didn't know everything about her husband, or vice versa. Her parents had taught her that marriage was a learning experience and it made her happy to learn new things about Jamie.

The weatherman had predicted snow in the evening, the first snow of the season, and right on time the first flurries arrived. A big whop startled Martha from her reading. She had been on the couch; Jamie had spent the last hour waiting by the window. No amount of skepticism on her part would convince Jamie it wouldn't snow.

"Are you five?" Martha asked fondly.

Jamie headed towards the bedrooms. "Sometimes."

"So what exactly are you going to do with a light dusting of snow?" She inquired.

"It's the first snow," Jamie paused to answer, "Don't you think it's time I introduced Amber to Jack Frost."

"Oh honey, Amber is already asleep, can't you wait until morning. If you get her up now she'll be all fussy." Martha lamented.

Jamie shook his head and smiled. "She'll only ever have one first snow. I don't want to mess this up. And if she fusses tonight I'll stay up with her."

Martha thought about it for a second. "Well if it's so important should I be suiting up to face the weather?"

Jamie started again for the bedrooms. "Don't bother," He called, "You look comfortable. Amber and I can share a little daddy-daughter moment." Five minutes later he returned dressed in a sweater and a vest. Their seven month old had doubled in size because every baby blanket they owned was wrapped around her.

She chuckled. "Do you think she'll be warm enough?"

"I just want to be sure." Jamie defended as he left the house.

As he was closing the door Martha called out, "Have fun."

"Oh we will," Jamie replied knowingly

* * *

15 minutes later they returned. They were out longer than she expected and Martha had been considering going to get them but there ended up being no need. Jamie looked overjoyed, his checks were flushed from more than just the cold and he had a big dopey grin. Amber was happily gurgling. "I'll put her back in bed." Jamie informed her.

"Sit down first and tell me all about it," Martha said, "Because it looks like you two had a good time."

"Well Jack Frost is definitely in town," Jamie said. "He was right outside waiting for us. As soon as he saw Amber he knew she is the most beautiful baby girl in the world." Jamie paused to blow a raspberry in Amber's face. Amber started giggling. "No really Martha he couldn't take his eyes off her and was shocked into silence, and if you know Jack he is never silent. I asked Jack if he wanted to hold her. He did, he also wanted to fly away with her. Like any good father I told him no. I'm practicing for when she's dating age. But I did let him take Amber for a spin around town and afterwards we came back in."

Martha laughed. "Good now you may take her back to bed." He did returning sometime later to sprawl out on the couch beside her.

"I love winter." Jamie said

"I know." Martha said fondly

"My best memories are snow days."

"You've mentioned."

* * *

The night Amber did not get fussy. The next morning when Martha went to get Amber the windows had frost on them with little pictures drawn on them.

"Did you draw these pictures?" Martha asked.

"No dear, it was Jack Frost," Jamie explained patiently.

* * *

Jamie took advantage of every opportunity to take Amber outside that winter. Quite a few of those trips were family outings, but more than was expected Jamie went out with only Amber. If asked what he was doing Jamie would spin fanciful tales about Jack Frost and their adventures. Martha humored him and didn't press for details about what they were really doing. The frost pictures persisted through out winter.

* * *

When Amber was three Trevor was born and when Trevor was only two months old he experienced his first snow. Like last time Jamie waited by the window, Martha had noticed that he had some sort six sense when it came to snow.

Martha was taking a nap when the snow started. Jamie nudged her up to tell her they were going outside. Over the next five minutes Martha slowly started to wake up. In the main room the curtains were opened and when Martha left her room she could see her husband and children. Jamie was holding a bundle that must be Trevor. His lips were moving so he must be talking. Amber was jumping around in a circle, reaching up as if she was holding something overhead. But there was no one there.

* * *

"It's not just a game is it," Martha said bluntly.

"What's not just a game?" Jamie asked. "You're going to have to explain this more."

"Jack Frost, you actually believe he is there, so does Amber but she's three," Martha said.

"Yes," he admitted, "I believe in Jack Frost. He is my oldest and dearest friend. When I was young and my beliefs had been shaken Jack showed up and was a rock for me to lean on. He made me happy when I was scared"

"I don't understand," Martha said, "Is he an imaginary friend, does he symbolize something, or are you saying he's real?"

"To me he is real. You can believe me or not. I didn't marry you because I thought we would agree 100% of the time. Nor am I asking you to follow me blindly but I would like it if you tried to believe like I do."

"And what about Amber?" Martha pressed.

"Ask her yourself," Jamie answered.

* * *

"Tell me Amber what is Jack like?" Martha asked one day when she was braiding Amber's hair.

"He's fun!" Amber gushed.

"How so?"

"Well he smiles, a lot, and he flies, and makes snow, and snowballs, and when I'm good daddy lets Jack take me flying." Martha hummed in response.

* * *

Martha rolled over and reached her arms around her husband. "I just want to let you that I'm trying because I trust you and don't _think _you're crazy"

Jamie turned to face her and smiled. "That makes me happy."

"That being said," Martha continued, "If it turns out you are some sort of psychopath, my Dad taught me how to shoot a shotgun." Jamie just laughed and pulled her closer.

* * *

"I'm pregnant again."

* * *

"Tell me what he looks like Jamie," Martha pleaded.

"No," He said, "Either you'll see him yourself or you'll never know what he looks like. It's cheating to ask. Besides seeing isn't believing."

"This isn't going to be easy is it?"

"Are we talking about Jack or our marriage?"

"Both I think."

* * *

The baby was kicking, another boy. Trevor would get a little brother and Amber would be happy with a whole gang of boys. Not her exact words but Martha got the idea that Amber just like being the oldest. She was going through a bossy stage. Jamie was at the window. "Has it started snowing yet?" She asked.

"Give it a moment. In fact I think we have just enough time to get the kids and ourselves bundled up. By the time we're done the snow should have started."

* * *

Amber hadn't needed much more encouragement than a simple mention of Jack. Trevor had squirmed and fussed as Jamie shoved a sweatshirt over the toddlers head. Martha was taking deep breaths. _Keep kicking _she told the baby.

"You coming honey?" Jamie asked from the front door.

"I'll be right there." She closed her eyes before looking leaving the door. "The baby is kicking. Do you want to feel Jack?"

"I'd love too." The voice was younger than she expected. Martha took another deep breath and opened her eyes. Jack was on the steps right in front of her, ginning.

* * *

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._

_I love thee to the depth and breadth and height_

_My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight_

_For the ends of being and ideal grace._

_I love thee to the level of every day's_

_Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light._

_I love thee freely, as men strive for right._

_I love thee purely, as they turn from praise._

_I love thee with the passion put to use_

_**In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.**_

_I love thee with a love I seemed to lose_

_With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,_

_Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,_

_I shall but love thee better after death._

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

* * *

**I firmly believe that Jamie will never stop believing. It might be hard sometimes and I tired to show that. It's vague but he and his wife do have problems and they work through them so they can still love each other. So yeah I was thinking about Jamie and the line _in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith, _but it's a love poem. my mind kind of spiraled from there and tada! **


End file.
